The PEPPERGREEN Contingent

An Entrance Point into the World of the Peppergreen Mind

Saturday, October 15, 2005

two for the price of one.

I just wrote this post. But in the saving process, it was deleted. That is frustrating...

But tonight I was given a chance to dance. My good friend Chris and I went to a movie. As we left the theatre, another friend called.

He was 3 blocks away listening to an 80's band. While there two women, a bit older than me (but a comfortable age older) asked me to dance. I thought they wanted to dance with me and one of my friends.

NOPE Just me.

Nothing sexual happened. But it was a wonderful time. I still don't know why they asked me. Charma maybe? This would have been my wedding weekend, if we would have not separated. And I thought tonight I would be at home alone crying about past personalities.

The night passed into closing time. I received no phone numbers. But interestingly enough I was invited to their church. They asked me to worship with them.

I have been praying lately to meet someone I could go to church with. The one I thought I would be marrying and I didn't see religion the same way. She was Catholic. I was not. That made me non religious in some sort of understanding.

To dance - to worship. Tonight I was offered something. I was offered two for the price of one.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Ghost stories are filling my head these days...

The free candy season is around the corner. Leaves are disappearing with the warmer temperature. The sky greys a little earlier every day. And the shadows climb out of my memory to enjoy the season.

I've had a multitude of unreal experiences. Science will attempt to say they are not real. My mind has created a figment to stimulate my creativity... or something like that. Science is just a collection of facts and proven theories. Someday science will prove itself wrong. Science will share its own ghosts, later when the lights have dimmed, for all of us to experience.

And my ghosts, they will call forth to frighten me. I will slap them in their existence. For I will have science backing me.

I find myself writing ghost stories these days. Some are mine, some are shared and changing into mine. But the ghosts are real.

Be them memories, imagination, or real. I am writing their stories.

Even for the eyes, it is the season of free candy.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

A moment of Serenity

I went to a movie tonight. I was trying to shut it off. Thought. I've been trying to shut off thought. The problem is, no matter what I do, it just wont stay shut off.

They say brilliant people go mad because they see the world for what it is. They are unable to drift aimlessly with the masses through life... letting the power be drained, freedom stolen, and hope displaced with fad and fantasy.

I've used alcohol, the madness drank it up. I allowed myself to be mentally abused by a woman half my size with a bipolar complex. I threw her out. I placed myself in a mindless job. I'm walking out that door as I type.

And still my thoughts collide with my life. I want to be a simple thinker - a person without a reason. I know so many. They give their lives to their addictions. Alcohol, technology, children, sex, abuse, the church, charity... you can add yours to the list if you want. But so few create anything that will outlast the flesh.

A paycheck maybe. They make those. But the credit cards already own most of the paychecks. So now most I know are slaves to credit. Something intangible that is valued between 450 and 850. I'm somewhere in the middle. Does this mean I'm only something of a slave?

Only my words seem to ease the madness. I went to a movie tonight. A movie written so well that I almost forgot it followed the hollywood script outline. Something rare. Something that had talent placed in it, talent devoted to it, talent bled into it.

It is something that should last. One problem though, it is outside of the mainstream fad and fashion. The movie is Serenity. A sci-fi western. No where in this show will you find "reality tv". But at least my demon is a few words behind me. Now if I could only write something that will outlast the flesh.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Hmm,

I once visited this field quite often.

Have the flowers of thought wilted...

Leaving only dried stems of a once colorful essence?

Monday, March 29, 2004

Viva la peppergreen

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

another monday gone...

Reviewing the world of business I have started to focus on the home business market.

Candles, Make-up, etc... the possibilities are endless. Most are set-up like a pyramid scheme with one big difference, no scheme. You sell a product, you get a share of the sale. Basically the seller becomes the middle man.

Im tired, so no political commentary, just a revelation on a simple concept.

another monday gone...

Friday, January 02, 2004

So I sit with Athena on my lap...

I am in Bemidji, Mn today. This time I am a visitor. I recently relocated to Crystal (Twin Cities Area), Mn. What a different life. Then again, very familiar.

My girlfriend (my wondrous friend really) still resides here. In may she graduates too! A new world for both of us then. And for her cat Athena too.

But I am currently locating employment. Bemidji is northern MN. Work consists, if you can find it, for nurses, sales clerks, welders, and loggers. If I would have stayed in the region I could have become a hunting and fishing guide. Those two positions are abundant. They also are self-motivated positions. But I don't hunt any more and fish always swim to the opposite side of the lake. So I have now moved to the fourteenth largest market in the U.S.

I am a writer. Hand me an idea and I can put it in type. I can create a layout if needed. I can lick stamps if that is all I am deemed good for. But I am a writer.

The job market is slow. So a person must find other ways of making money. Mary Kay anyone?
Actually, this kind of direction is not too far off.

Not Mary Kay exactly. But along those lines. I am considering selling my favorite candles produced on this side of the sun, PartyLite candles.

Writer's have done a million jobs outside of bartending (bartending is still the leading career of starving writers); and I am a professional writer - willing to sell my soul to the corporation. So candles seem really respectful. I can do anything. Maybe that experience will give me an idea for something I can write creatively.

Four hours away from my new home I find myself sitting with my wondrous friend's cat, writing for me. This is how I became a writer. And this is the writing I wish I could get paid to do. But life has twists and turns and different directives for each person.

Sometimes we need to separate our passions from our careers. Or maybe we shouldn't...

So I sit with Athena on my lap, writing...

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Protecting the world for a less educated America…

87 Billion dollars. Our president asked for this amount of money earlier this year. An increase for military spending. Spending to support actions within the borders of Iraq.

These dollars have secured the capture of Sadaam Hussein, enemy of freedom. With his capture has come the capture of his military leaders: Generals, Captains, and other various officers. Yet no Bin Laden. So our soldiers, blue collar American soldiers, remain in another continent’s desert.

Like the red scare of the early 20th century, the fear of chatter has brought suspicion into the homes of the U.S.A. The government wishes to increase the strength of the Patriot Act. We need protection from our enemies. We need protection that is unattainable without government intervention.

We need to be more educated.

With education Americans are able to come to reasonable and rational concepts. We are able to decide for ourselves what is a threat around us. But like a democratic endorsed welfare system, the Republican Party needs finances for the “War on Terror.” Money keeps the war machine oiled; and oil seems to be beneath the whole affair.

But the $87 Billion dollars asked by the Republican based American president, to support this “War on Terror,” what money tree are these dollars being pumped off of?

Tax dollars? The United States is in a bit of a recession. Tax dollars are in short supply as American corporations are not turning a major profit. Let us not forget that Republican based policy continually and historically gives tax relief to “big business.”

With this knowledge in place, where do the funds - the $87 Billion dollars of blue collar pocket change - derive from?

Look in your local public school system. Ask any college student who is having difficulty supporting themself while attempting to become more educated. $65 Billion dollars has been removed from the publicly financed education system in the year of 2003. Those are dollars that were “ear-marked” for the future.

The future of any society is located in the hearts and minds of the youth. Without a basic sense of self worth, learning becomes difficult. Without adequate school facilities, and an adequate number of educators, self worth can dwindle. The individual thoughts and inspiration of a student will seem more amazing in a classroom of 20 when measured against a student hidden within a classroom of 30. Yet education is suffering because of the “War on Terrorism.”

An answer with concrete substance such as the overthrowing of Sadaam Hussein, though lined with undertones of terroristic threat, is more tangible to grasp than the images of an America that can not read or add at a twelfth grade level.

Even today, Universities are increasing the number of remedial math classes offered. The 4 year college student is now the 5 year college student. One year is being added to learn what should have already been taught. Yes, I am sure it was taught. But with increased classroom sizes comes increased impetuses.

Suffer the American classroom, suffer the fate of a less intelligent future. At least the number of available blue collar volunteer soldiers will increase. Let the machine continue being oiled.


Thursday, October 23, 2003

The school I attend publishes an all womens anthology called Dust and Fire. Wonderful publication for over 25 years.

Soon a new anthology will arise from the educational halls of Bemidji State University.
Fire Ring Voices, an anthology of male writing, will be published during the spring of 2004. Echoing Dust and Fire, Fire Ring Voices is going to offer a chance for those disallowed-due to gender- an opportunity to be read. Open to Minnesota residents (for the first years issue), we hope to offer publishing opportunity to men.

Ironic to think that nearly 30 years ago Dust and Fire was created due to inequality within the publishing world. Women had trouble being taken serious as writers. Time has healed this misfortune of the past.

The healing has come so full circle, that now an echo of Dust and Fire will be published to give equal publishing opportunities.

No taboo is too strong to be untouchable.
An unheard voice is a voice in waste...

Dust and Fire...my sisters voice, my mothers voice, my girlfriends voice...
Fire Ring Voices... my voice, my fathers voice, my brothers voice...

Dust and Fire - Fire Ring Voices...My worlds voice...

Thursday, October 02, 2003

just a quick thought...

Economically, it has been proven time and time again that a quick-healer for an slumping economy is War. Yet the War on Terrorism, on the Islamic world, has not yet pulled America out of the current economic depression.

Could the Iraq invasion be just that?

Thought for Liberty,

Action for freedom...

Monday, September 29, 2003

to look at the image of my words ...

Peter Klint of Germany has finished his creation of me.

From a few photographs, the thoughts I share here and elsewhere on the web, and with some background music to energize the muse, Peter has caught the essence of me when writing. The look is intense and questioning...as I do question myself when writing.

The color tones - orange and yellow - are fitting. He must know something I don't, but at this time of my life, if I was to pick out colours to fill my personality, these are me. I once took an aura test, and my aura color came back along these lines!?!

A chance e-mail a 8 months ago. Brief internet conversations soon after. A sharing of thoughts, images, and art.

I took a chance at contacting someone I may never meet. Someone beyond the ability of my car to reach. Someone who may think like me, or think completely opposite. In return I received a precious gift, the gift of creation.

Thank you Peter!

For me you have offered validation to my writing.

For me you have given me a chance-



to look at the image of my words...

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Mr. Andrew B.:

Just a note... your friends wish you well at Metropolitan State!! I said hello's for you as you had asked. I even found out that one of your female classmates here always thought you were cute:)

more irony of time and place...

I hope "your people" are treating you good where you are!



The Peppergreen Contingent

no time to reflect...

Mr. Ashcroft was in my home state of Minnesota this past week. He is journeying around the U.S.A. in what was first labeled "gaining support for the patriot act." But now news reports are saying he is trying (failing I hope) to gain support to EXPAND the patriot act. An act of congress that is in fact Unpatriotic...unless you are willing to hand away personal privacy. I, as an American, say FUCK YOU!!! Sorry, I needed to vent.

Back to my original thoughts... So as corrupt U.S. politics is rolling around the countryside, I find myself entrenched with endless school work. I will graduate in December. I plan on keeping my 4.0 average! But with this comes consequences.

I have not seen my girlfriend now in two months... money and time keep on ticking, ticking, ticking away.

I am volunteering writing time for a program called Let's Go Fishing. But I barely find time to read the e-mails they send me. They are trying to raise money to cover this summers expenses. Great program: They take senior citizens fishing...people who no longer have the resources to go out by themselves.

But a wonderful taste of the ever moving world sent me a letter this week. An artist from Germany, Peter Klint, needs some photographs for an upcoming project. He had first contacted about the project last winter. How wonderful to here from him again.

Somewhere within his letter came a realization. All around me things are happening: my relationship, volunteer groups, government politics hidden behind choice words, and international relations.

With all else going on, this last one holds the most value. I took a moment to look outside myself, my little world. I have many responsbilities, as do you! Priority must be given...and it is easiest to give priority to that which is closest to us.
But not always is this the correct order!?!

If we are able to look beyond the chains of our intimate society...look beyond the barriers of out national society...look around the barriors of our heritage and planet...and try to look for what we hold dear to our hearts...we will find our dreams and desires. Our true nature is hiding out there. But can we grasp it? I'm not sure if everyone can? I know I never will unless I make time to search...make time to reflect. In the end, the necessity for our future is hidden in the reflection of our dreams.

No time to reflect? When I look past everything around me:

time is all I have...

Friday, September 05, 2003

The Patriot act (ion)...

The value of a name. It is true much can be found in such a device. Most people don't think about it too much. We are given our name long before we could ever think "this isn't who I want to be." The name shapes perspective, creates identity, and opens (or closes) doors.

Two years ago the value of a name was achieved. What do I mean by achieved. Some of you are wondering if that statement even makes common sense. Common sense is simplifying the matter. Now what is the matter? you are wondering. Here we go...

A bill, a wonderful bill, was given the chance to become a law. I am picturing the school house rock skit of "the bill" right now in my mind. A simple moment from the seventies... from my childhood. And a law, The Patriot Act, passed without hesitation within seven weeks of the 9/11 terrorist attack.

This new law seems, at first, to be protecting america from terrorism. The F.B.I., local police, and other government agencies were given more leniency pertaining to: information searches, medical records, and other personal information.

But are these new liberties Constitutional? If information on "The Peppergreen Continent" is atainable without my permission, have I not lost some of MY LIBERTY?

In the end I ask for you to do your own research. I wonder how you feel about this subject?

If I am to be protected from terrorism by anti-constitutional acts, am I suffering from a New type of terrorism? Terror from within is more dangerous than any outside force.

Keep your enemies closerthe saying goes.

How close should my enemies be if I do not know they are there? That is the question the government tried to answer with the Patriot Act.

But I now wonder if the ones protecting could become a greater threat???



Shakespeare I ask, "What truly is in a name?"...

Thursday, September 04, 2003

The price of milk...

Last week the T.V. news reported (alll too briefly) that in the near future milk prices could be rising by $1.00 a gallon. It was also stated that this is due to an increase in what farmers will be allowed to sell milk at.

Farming is to some extent a regulated business. Our government sets Price Ceilings on essential products, such as milk, to keep the price affordable for the general consumer.

What I found curious though is the fact that the report also stated the farmer producing the milk is going to have this price ceiling raised $.25 from the current ceiling. If the price is going up $1.00, where is the other $.75 going?

Ask anyone who deals with farming about who makes the profit and the answer will rarely be the farmer. I have heard many people say our government needs to QUIT supporting farmers. If this happened, the average (and above average) consumer would not be able to afford a gallon of milk.

But what about that other $.75 that was not spoke of? Have the: shippers, grocery stores, refinery centers added to personal profits? Who is benefiting. At first glance it would seem to be the farmer. It is definately not the consumer.

If there is a price ceiling dealt to the farmer for their wares, are we not too far off from setting a ceiling for the local grocery store chain?

Whats in the price of milk? I am willing to put my 2 bits into the coufer. But if prices are to go up an extra $.75, this just doesn't make sense.

What is in the price of milk anyway...